Here are 50 funny hockey jokes and the best hockey puns to crack you up. These jokes about hockey are great jokes for kids and adults.
Here is our top list of hockey dad jokes. Find your favorite puns about hockey, have a laugh, then share and enjoy this hockey humor with others.
What did the enforcer said to the hockey team? Just checking.
Why does the ice-hockey rink melt after the game? All the fans left.
How do you know when a hockey player licked a lemon? He puckers up.
What did the cowboy ride to the hockey game? A Zam-pony.
Why couldn’t Cinderella be on the field hockey team? Because she always ran away from the ball.
How does a hockey player protect his legs? With shinty pads.
Why do standup comedians play hockey? They have their shtick.
What is a hockey players favorite drink? A penal-tea.
How do you remember what to hit a hockey ball with? It just sticks.
When do hockey players use the most energy? During a power play.
What does a hockey forward say on Halloween? Hat Trick or Treat.
Why are scrambled eggs like a losing hockey team? Because they’ve both been beaten.
How are hockey players so good at making new friends? They know how to break the ice real quick.
Why did the new ice hockey player not perform well? He got cold feet.
Why do hockey players work in bakeries during the off season? They’re great at icing the cakes.
Why don’t ice hockey players tell jokes? The ice might crack up.
What did the ice hockey player say to his wife on the phone? Take care, icy you later.
Why does our best hockey player wear a hat not a helmet? He wants to score a hat-trick.
What position would Luke Skywalker play if he was on the Star Wars hockey team? X-Wing.
Why did the hockey player bring an extra pair of shoelaces? Because she wanted to tie the score.
Which hockey position did the ghost play? Ghoulie.
What is the similarity between a game of hockey and an airboat? Loud fans.
What do a dentist and a hockey coach have in common? They both use drills.
What made coach of the hockey team so frustrated when he opened his email? He had so many forwards.
Why is a great hockey player like Wayne Gretzky not allowed to listen to music? Because he broke so many records.
Where do ice-hockey players get their uniforms? New Jersey.
What does a good hockey forward have in common with a magician? Hat tricks.
What did the skeleton drive to the hockey game? A zam-bony.
Why did they stop the zombie hockey game? They said someone had a face-off in the corner.
What happened to the hockey player who demanded money? He was given a check.
Hockey one liners
Here are some great hockey joke one liners that you can quip whenever someone is talking about hockey.
Before each ice hockey season, coaches have well thawed out plans.
Hockey players are like goldfish. The way we get their attention is to tap on the glass.
Hockey players are good at making new friends. They break the ice really quickly.
My local hockey rink just reported their Zamboni driver has gone missing. They hope he resurfaces soon.
After the hockey goalie let in three goals, he looked at the puck and angrily said, “I’ll catch you later”.
I watched hockey before it was cool. They basically were swimming.
Back when I played hockey, they used to call me “the Titanic.” I looked pretty good until I hit the ice.
I went to a hockey store and asked an employee if they had any cheap skates. They sent me to the managers office.
I wanted to buy a hockey stadium. But unfortunately my realtor could only give me a ballpark estimate.
My friends and I visited Canada for the first time. We got into a fight, and a hockey game broke out.
Best hockey jokes
These next funny hockey puns are some of our best jokes and puns about hockey!
Why can’t a pig play hockey? They hog the puck.
Which animal is really good at playing hockey? A score-pion.
How did the flamingo win the hockey game? He scored a flamingoal.
Why didn’t the lousy hockey team have a website? They couldn’t string three W’s together.
Did you hear about the ghostbuster who played hockey? He is great at blocking ghouls.
What did the Zamboni say to the hockey player? Ice to meet you.
What does an ice-hockey player do on a beach holiday? Wayne Rejetskis.
Where does a majority of a hockey player’s salary come from? The tooth fairy.
Why was the hockey player arrested and taken to jail? He shot a goal.
Why did a hockey player climb a tree with his hockey stick? He wanted to join the Maple Leafs.
After reading through all these hilarious jokes about hockey, we hope you had a good laugh.
If you want to hear more funny sports puns, then check out these other great lists of funny jokes: